From: "Malcom "Mal" Reynolds" on
In article
<91533472-e414-4e7e-af51-6ac841bb221f(a)h4
0g2000prf.googlegroups.com>,
"friesian(a)zoocrewphoto.com"
<friesian(a)zoocrewphoto.com> wrote:

> On Oct 11, 1:37�pm, watcher <watc...(a)news.netaxs.com> wrote:
> > On 2009-10-11, Marsha <m...(a)xeb.net> wrote:
> >
> > > My milktoast sister does plan on consulting an attorney finally, but
> > > does anyone know what she has to do to get rid of a roommate
> > > (boyfriend)? �She owns the home outright. �He's a verbal abuser and
> > > plays mind games, like hiding her jewelry and undoing a couple small
> > > improvements he's made to her home. �She owns the home outright. �He has
> > > never paid anywhere near an equal share of the bills. �I'm thinking she
> > > may have to formally give him 30 days notice and then just evict him,
> > > probably with the help of some law enforcement.
> >
> > > Marsha
> >
> > One way might be for her(or you, or some agressive friend of hers) to wait
> > until he has to go out of the house for a while. �At that point, she gets
> > the
> > locks changed and throws all his stuff out into the front yard. �At that
> > point,
> > he might get the message.
> >
> > W.
>
> Depending on the location, that could have him winning a lawsuit
> against her. We had to take people to court, which took more than a
> month for the court date, and THEN, they had 30 days to get out. And
> since they were broke, they took the whole 30 days. So, from beginning
> to end, we lost another 2 months of rents and utilities in addition to
> the amount that they were behind (the reason we were evicting them).
>
> In a situation like this, it would be ideal if there were a way to
> make him want to leave sooner than that. But not in a way that would
> be considered harrassment.

Not that he's likely to accept it, but
offering him a lump sum to leave is
often a viable solution. Just get a
signed document that clearly states the
terms and what the money is for.

Then he becomes a trespasser legally
From: Rod Speed on
� Jeem � wrote:
> On Sun, 11 Oct 2009 23:59:35 -0500, Balvenieman
> <balvenieman(a)invalid.net> wrote:
>
>>
>> "Dave C." <noway(a)nohow.never> wrote:
>>
>>> If you are living with someone long enough, he becomes your common
>>> law husband.
>> Strictly speaking that simply is not the case in most, if not all,
>> jurisdictions in the U.S.A. A narrow set of conditions must prevail
>> in order for a judge (the only person who can do so) to declare
>> persons to be "common law" spouses. "Common law" spouse just as
>> "fianc�" is, in common parlance, simply PCSpeak for "cohabitant",
>> "live-in" or "shackup".
>> In my view, OP's most constructive and civilized course of action
>> is to butt out and let her sister live her own life in return for the
>> same respect and regard.

> Only a handful of states recognize Common Law Marriage:

> http://www.ncsl.org/default.aspx?tabid=4265

Heaps more do recognise defacto relationships.

> If the OP's sister resides in the majority of states which do not
> recognize Common Law Marriage, then she has the right to allow her BF
> to stay or tell him to leave, if his name is not on the deed to the home.

Utterly mangled all over again. It isnt even that simple with shared houses.


From: friesian on
On Oct 12, 1:29 pm, « Jeem » <n...(a)thebeach.now> wrote:
> On Sun, 11 Oct 2009 20:16:59 -0700 (PDT), phil scott
>
>
>
> <p...(a)philscott.net> wrote:
> >On Oct 11, 1:14 pm, Marsha <m...(a)xeb.net> wrote:
> >> My milktoast sister does plan on consulting an attorney finally, but
> >> does anyone know what she has to do to get rid of a roommate
> >> (boyfriend)?  She owns the home outright.  He's a verbal abuser and
> >> plays mind games, like hiding her jewelry and undoing a couple small
> >> improvements he's made to her home.  She owns the home outright.  He has
> >> never paid anywhere near an equal share of the bills.  I'm thinking she
> >> may have to formally give him 30 days notice and then just evict him,
> >> probably with the help of some law enforcement.
>
> >> Marsha
>
> >unless she as a written lease agreement she can simply change the
> >locks and leave
> >his stuff in plastic sacks on the front law, notify the police of
> >potential issues, and have
> >someone stay with her until the dust settles.
>
> Agreed. If there is no rental agreement or lease, she has no
> obligation to allow the BF to live with her. She is doing this just of
> her own free will. She had a romantic interest in the man and now she
> does not. That does not obligate her to allow him to live in her home.
> If they were renting an apartment or house and both names were on the
> lease, that would be a different story.

It can get complicated though if any of the utilities are in his name,
or if he has proof of payments. And since he has lived there multiple
years, his ID will have that address on it. So, the police may not be
able to make a decision that he doesn't have legal right to be there.
And that means sending it to the court system, which will take time.

We've had renters admit in court that they are more than 6 months
behind on rent and have no money to pay. Yet they still get 30 days to
move out while we have to keep the utilities on or risk being sued.
The system in our state favors the renter and not the homeowner. We
couldn't even turn off the cable or wireless internet. The guy was
spending all day playing games on the internet. If we could have
turned off the internet (which we were paying for), he would have had
a reason to leave sooner.

From: � Jeem � on
On Tue, 13 Oct 2009 07:57:29 +1100, "Rod Speed"
<rod.speed.aaa(a)gmail.com> wrote:

>� Jeem � wrote:
>> On Sun, 11 Oct 2009 23:59:35 -0500, Balvenieman
>> <balvenieman(a)invalid.net> wrote:
>>
>>>
>>> "Dave C." <noway(a)nohow.never> wrote:
>>>
>>>> If you are living with someone long enough, he becomes your common
>>>> law husband.
>>> Strictly speaking that simply is not the case in most, if not all,
>>> jurisdictions in the U.S.A. A narrow set of conditions must prevail
>>> in order for a judge (the only person who can do so) to declare
>>> persons to be "common law" spouses. "Common law" spouse just as
>>> "fianc�" is, in common parlance, simply PCSpeak for "cohabitant",
>>> "live-in" or "shackup".
>>> In my view, OP's most constructive and civilized course of action
>>> is to butt out and let her sister live her own life in return for the
>>> same respect and regard.
>
>> Only a handful of states recognize Common Law Marriage:
>
>> http://www.ncsl.org/default.aspx?tabid=4265
>
>Heaps more do recognise defacto relationships.

De facto relationship is just another term used in Australia and New
Zealand for Common Law Marriage in the US.
>
>> If the OP's sister resides in the majority of states which do not
>> recognize Common Law Marriage, then she has the right to allow her BF
>> to stay or tell him to leave, if his name is not on the deed to the home.
>
>Utterly mangled all over again. It isnt even that simple with shared houses.

Utterly mangled? Crystal clear to me.
>
From: � Jeem � on
On Sun, 11 Oct 2009 20:20:16 -0700 (PDT), phil scott
<phil(a)philscott.net> wrote:

>On Oct 11, 2:54�pm, Al <albun...(a)mailinator.com> wrote:
>> On Oct 11, 4:14 pm, Marsha <m...(a)xeb.net> wrote:
>>
>> > My milktoast sister does plan on consulting an attorney finally, but
>> > does anyone know what she has to do to get rid of a roommate
>> > (boyfriend)? �She owns the home outright. �He's a verbal abuser and
>> > plays mind games, like hiding her jewelry and undoing a couple small
>> > improvements he's made to her home. �She owns the home outright. �He has
>> > never paid anywhere near an equal share of the bills. �I'm thinking she
>> > may have to formally give him 30 days notice and then just evict him,
>> > probably with the help of some law enforcement.
>>
>> > Marsha
>>
>> Seems like a legal tenancy has been created and a formal eviction will
>> be needed to do it legally.
>> Your sister might find a replacement boyfriend that is not a milk
>> toast and he could be more persuasive.
>> Why not try this question on one of the legal groups? Mentioning the
>> state and city would also be a big help.
>
>the dirt bag would have to sue if there is any question, if there is
>not a signed lease
>agreement, chances he'd win approach zero... and he probably wouldnt
>invest the money
>to sue.... and for what 'damages' Id just change the locks, put his
>stuff on the front lawn in plastic bags and rent a rotweiler, borrow a
>shot gun and invite a friend or two to stay for a while
>

I like the rottweiler idea. The shotgun, I dunno. If she is not
willing to use it in a situation which arises where she would have to
use it, he may just take it from her and who knows what could occur
after that. Having people stay with her for a while is a good idea. It
would help her feel secure and would also help secure the home. Change
the locks.......without a doubt! Maybe add some deadbolt locks as
well. Buy some pepper spray for the times she is away from the home.